Flight

Birds of a feather
fall apart.
I never held your hand.
You cradled my
demons;
I hushed your
screams.
We could have been…
The sting of silence,
bleeding fingernails.
Forever seemed longer
at night beside you
when I was
lonely.
Once upon a Celtic clover,
my visions were
damaged,
yet my heart was whole.
I’m not lonely anymore,
but I’m alone.
My visions are clear,
but I’ve fallen
to paradise!
What a dream come true!
No dream can glitter boldly
without a wish
from you.

Searching at Sea

Six years ago
I put up my sails
with nothing but a map
and a blank itinerary.
With the doors of my mind closed,
I set out in search of life.
The storm hit quickly
and became my closest friend.
Oh, the rain, it was heavy.
My clothes of lead,
I was wrapped in a rusted robe
and my narrowed vision of the sea.
I knew the trip would be rough.
I’d heard stories about loss,
and I knew I was not strong,
and I was certain I would not make it
alive.

Six years ago—
a tale of a broken heart.
Maybe Fate knew better than I
the advantages of standing
chest-to-chest with the Devil.
He was handsome
and sang the right song.
But the light he held,
oh, the light was fueled by my fear.
My salvation! It was over. 
I was saved by my own reflection
and my inability to see past the clouds. 
Ignorance shining in the rain.
It looked beautiful to me.
And I knew I was wrong,
and I was certain I would not make it
alive.

Five years ago
I cursed the sea
for not bringing me to
where I wanted to be.
Why was the sun hiding its face?
When would we learn to forgive?
I prayed to a God
that I didn’t believe,
oh, hoping for anything,
anyone to break through the clouds
that rested on the horizon at night.
One day
the rain grew tired,
so I got to hear the rhythm of the waves.
And I knew I was lost,
and I was certain I would not make it
alive.

Five years ago
my map turned to grain.
I spent days
mixing my tears with the rain,
and chewing the pieces of my trail that remained.
And I was alone
when Nature tore pieces from my ship.
We were a broken vessel travelling a broken journey.
Oh, my eyes burned
and my sail had gone brown.
I asked once again
to see into the eyes
of a savior,
for a chance to prove that I believed.
And I knew I was a liar,
and I was certain I would not make it
alive.

Four years ago
I learned to tie my ropes
tighter with every gust,
with the crash of each wave
against us.
I spelled my name differently
and put on a different robe,
this one woven with trust and hope.
Oh, the warmth of the sun
was seeping through the clouds.
We still hadn’t seen its light,
but we knew that without rain
our candles would be light
enough to ignite a fire in our heart.
And I knew I was a martyr,
and I was certain I would not make it
alive.

Four years ago
the rain did stop,
but we still did not know
where we were going.
The sky was still gray,
but we were getting strong.
I taught myself to speak
the language of a survivor.
Oh, what! A vessel!
We found another soul,
or three, or four!
My prayers were answered, and
how odd that they longed for the same life as I.
Relief turned to fire as the Devil returned in me.
And I knew I was evil,
and I was certain they would not make it
alive.

Three years ago
I realized what I’d done.
When I could have been in company,
I should have—
but wait! I was weathered.
Blame anyone but me!
After the storm I’d encountered,
the right belonged to me.
Oh, reserving a place for pity,
I left no room for the love
of an innocent bystander
who had offered me her own weathered hand.
Beneath me, the remnants
of a naïve crew and ship.
And I knew I was a champion,
and I was certain I would not make it
alive.

Three years ago,
Along with one more,
I sailed alone with questions
about why
did my luck get better?
Why was I shown the sun?
I reflected on the chances I’d been given,
yet I still hadn’t reached the end.
Oh, the end to this nightmare,
when would it come?
For I’d been lost among the sea
since six years past the millennium.
The storm came back
to remind me of what I’d done.
And I knew I was a monster,
and I was certain I would not make it
alive.

One year ago
I drew myself a map
by which I would travel
in search for the sun.
I created a new itinerary,
both things I’d etched on my ship,
for her voyage was worse than mine.
In my attempt to start again,
oh, yes, I forgave myself,
and I forgave the losses I’d endured.
As lost as I’d been before,
I prayed for forgiveness,
this time without shame or question,
and my prayers would soon be answered.
And I knew I was a soldier,
and I was certain, for the first time, I would make it.
Alive.

One year ago
I chose to look past the sea.
I looked past the clouds.
And although I did not see
the end of my battle,
I believed that I was chosen
to have the power to carry on.
God does exist,
oh, I told myself until the end,
and luckily once I stopped searching for peace,
the sun found me.
Past the storm I had befriended
on the ship that had survived,
I made it to the end.
And I knew I was a warrior,
and I was certain I would find the way to enlightenment
alive.

Today
I believe in dark skies
and the power of the rain.
I emit love
and smile through the pain.
I stand through storms
and stand tall against the waves.
The sea doesn’t scare me,
oh, as many tears as I’ve cried
because my vision of life
has been projected by my heart.
The ship with which I’d fallen
in love is still forever mine.
She’s anchored in my soul,
and I know I am a believer,
and I am certain I have made it to happiness
alive.

Today
I still remember the tides,
I hold on to the tales,
but I do not share them
because everyone deserves
their own journey.
When their time comes,
people will learn to fight.
Oh, what treasures I’ve created
within the memory of my mind.
I’ve illustrated my own road
that leads to happiness.
I have a long way to go still,
but a challenge I accept.
And I know I have been saved,
and I am certain I will approach my ending open and
alive.

But I Did

The clouds are back
again,
and I said I wouldn’t miss them.
How many reasons do I need?
"Why does your skin turn cold when
I fly you to the sun?”
You always told me don’t look
down,
but I did.

The sky fell down
again.
And I said I wouldn’t crash like
two years ago when I told you I
loved you. I guess I’m confused.
I guess I’m still broken.
You always told me don’t drown
here,
but I did.

The wind threw you
again,
and I said I wouldn’t let it.
Bruises can’t buy back time the way
the poison in my kiss can.
Do you still miss me?
You always told me don’t hold
back,
but I did. 

The sunlight died
again.
And I said I wouldn’t leave you.
How many lies can I create
before you realize never
did the rain meet the ground?
You always told me don’t feed
sin,
but I did.

The air is red
again,
and I said I wouldn’t blind your
open heart, tender smile. I’ll paint
you a rainbow! So we can
soar to… but it’s too late.
You always told me don’t waste
time,
but I did.

Gravity

I feel you like raindrops in my eyes.
Your fractured voice makes me feel alive
like ballroom dancing on the moon.
Unspoken forevers flow into you.
I crawl into the silence between your breath.
Exhale: I breathe you in, yet
Inhale: I
defy
GRAVITY
as my heartbeat rises through your lips.
Your skin against my fingertips. 
I slip into eternity
where my rhythm meets your melody.
I’ve never heard two hearts resound—
infant magic rising from the ground.
Beneath our starlit, absent minds,
our bodies sing and die and rise.
Warm, moist, heavy, an inch away,
tongue behind your lips begs me to stay. 
And though before I thought I knew,
I’ve only flown these skies with you.